ok. so its actually officially. my mum thinks im crazy. i know have a consellor. i have to actually pay sumone 2 listen 2 meh. surely that tells you sumfing. i dont know what it is. im jus a depressin person. I just went on zains emails (cos im norty)and saw all the emails from girls whilest i was with him saying how much the love him n miss him n love him mroe every second. i just get used constantly cos im a fool. my best friends are slowly movin away from me. haza has everyone in town. jess suddenly likes all the popular ppl. and well toms in america. i suppose on the uva side im getin on rle well with arran. but he ent the kinda guy i meet up with all the time. i chose my gcse options n things seem 2 b movin 2 fast i jus need 2 take a breath nstep bak.
but im scaring myself.
i keep jus collpasing on the floor. n crying holding my head. n i cry myself 2 sleep. and its jus lyk afta all these years im jus finally exploded. its destroying me. and i cnt stop it. im startin 2 get into bad habbits. smokin again. n the kitchen knife got a lil too close 2 my wrist 2day. i punched a wall. it hurt. duhh
i dno its like all mymorals are goin out the window. i h8 self harm.smokin.everything lyk that. im not me
<3